Sexless in the City

Sometimes reading romance novels doesn’t quite prepare you for a love life...

For this 30-year-old urbanite, love is always a misadventure: The Harvard Lickwit, Hippie the Groper, the 5% Man, and the Ad Weasel. These and many other men wander in and out of her life — but never her bed.

Thursday, June 30, 2005

Reader marathon, pt. 2

Dahlings, you’ve commented so fast and furiously today, I can barely keep up. For simplicity, I’m replying to all of you here, rapid-fire. Using whatever handle you applied to yourself. Forgive me if that violates the usual pseudonymic protocol.
Dear ANNA,

I have a two-part question!

1) Given your beliefs, do you feel it’s beneficial/appropriate to build a public image out of the avoidance of one particular “sin”?

2) What else is happening?


Dear mcMüller:
I have a two-part answer! One way to look at abstinence is to call it the avoidance of sin. But you could also call it being really selective about the circumstances of sex (which I hold to be a good thing and not inherently sinful) ... or an obsession with anticipation. Secondly, I’m not sure what the definition of a truly “public” figure is, but I thought you had to be nominated as ambassador or something. So far that hasn’t happened so, alas, I think I’m still a fairly private figure. *sniff*

What else is happening is that a) I am currently unemployed and getting poorer by the day, and b) my birthday is 11 days from now (one week after our big holiday). If friends and fans prove generous, I may briefly get slightly less poor.

“Side hugs!”
AB, I love your blog. It’s popped onto my horizon in a timely manner, as I’ve been getting bored of the blogosphere. Love the satire and the frank, witty, judeo-christo perspective.

That RS article was... wow, words escape me. I don’t know you, so I can’t say for sure, but I have a feeling that it was at least partially skewed. Made you guys out to be slightly militant and uber right wingers. I can see now that’s not exactly the case.
Dear Almost-Bored:
Judeo-christo ... now that’s an interesting one. Maybe I could apply to be his next project. Do you think he’d wrap my blog in orange for a week? Maybe if I offered to let him wrap my laptop as well ...

As for this business about wings, I neither have them nor would restrict them to just one side. I do eat buffalo wings, sometimes. Do you like them spicy? I’ve never wondered what side of the chicken they’re from, but you’re right that that’s an interesting question. Maybe one side’s wings are more succulent? Or is that just the breast portion ...
If you spend so much time getting off on not getting off, wouldn’t that qualify as some sort of perversion (if you use Freud’s definition)?
Dear Carlos:
I guess that depends on what you mean by getting off. Clearly I get off topic in these posts very often, for instance. But I usually don’t get off my futon very much in the midst of writing ... Oh but — of course! You didn’t mean that kind of getting off (slaps knee). Silly me.

Actually, though, if blogging had a perverse quality to it, I’m surely on the path to recovery: I’ve cut my average posts from five a week down to three. Alas, they never produce, well, ecstasy. But that I think you can’t really force at all. Much like sneezing. Which some people have actually claimed should also be considered a kind of getting off. What do you think of that? Would Freud find a sneezer perverse? If so, it’s mighty strange we say, “God bless you!” when that happens ... don’t you think?