Sexless in the City

Sometimes reading romance novels doesn’t quite prepare you for a love life...

For this 30-year-old urbanite, love is always a misadventure: The Harvard Lickwit, Hippie the Groper, the 5% Man, and the Ad Weasel. These and many other men wander in and out of her life — but never her bed.

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Wedding-guest blues

While I’m stalling ... I couldn't help throwing a certain quandary of mine out to there to the gentle readership.

So, a few days ago I got that dreaded thing in the mail: a wedding invitation (actually I’ve gotten two in the last month, but this one I will actually attend; the other’s in Arizona). It was even expected, but nonetheless the sight of “Miss Anna Broadway and Guest” sent my heart plummeting downward with a deep sigh. Just what should I do about the guest?

Stag it or drag ’im
My instinct is always to take full advantage of what’s offered. In fact it’s a Broadway trait on both sides of the fam. When our sprawling clan convened earlier this year for the San Diego graduation of Youngest Broadway from Boot Camp, we went out for a celebratory dinner at Olive Garden. While perusing our menus (which Jose No Dinero taught me is a verb actually meaning close inspection), we discovered guests are able to sample three wines before ordering. So what did we all do? Pick three wines each to sample. No matter that perhaps we might’ve liked wine #1 well enough to order. If we were allotted three, by God, then three was what we were getting!

So, likewise, if I can bring a guest, I’m extremely reluctant not to meet my hosts’ expectations. Except that this wedding is in DC, which means modest travel. It’s only a $35 bus from New York, round-trip, but I can’t exactly drag the happily-dating Guy Friend #1 down there with me. And, um ... that about does it for New York guy friends I could try to pull such favor with.

A solution, however, is possibly available: a guy friend I saw on the street the first day of the RNC works down in DC. We go way, way back to Arizona days: same church group and all (he’s another PK). My sister, however, who would otherwise be able to fill said guest bill (her Marine ball is that night) strongly discourages this plan. She claims a wedding date is big stuff, and I don’t know the guy in question well enough. He might find it exceedingly weird.

Plea for reader input
So, Sexless readers, on thoughts on this matter? Do I go stag or do I wheedle my way into datesville? I have once, in the past, found a blind date for a wedding (who proved to be the Professional Wedding Guest, and a fine, considerate date indeed) ... but I’m reluctant to go that far this time. Also, anyone coming from New York would have to bear the burden of travel (heavy sighs). Thoughts? Please weigh in — everything from anecdotes to advice is quite welcome. Nov. 6, should any of you be so big-hearted as to offer your services in company.