Sexless in the City

Sometimes reading romance novels doesn’t quite prepare you for a love life...

For this 30-year-old urbanite, love is always a misadventure: The Harvard Lickwit, Hippie the Groper, the 5% Man, and the Ad Weasel. These and many other men wander in and out of her life — but never her bed.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Classics pt. 4: Travel tips for dating

And in honor of today’s “15 minutes or more” hold time with the airline, a travel retrospective from last summer. Check out more “classic” blog posts below and at right. They won’t be online much longer!

Originally posted July 22, 2005

Helpful insights from the Continental Airlines hold message:

Passengers may bring up to four books of matches in carry-on luggage. If you think you have more than four potential dates or soulmates, don’t bring their profiles with you when traveling. Doing so might compromise your ability to click with attractive strangers on this flight or trip. Additional implications: if your black book or Blackberry looks like a jetsetter’s oft-expanded passport, it might be advised to carry a slimmed-down version on dates. Four men’s or women’s numbers might be too few to verify social skills, but 15 or 20 might be too many for landing the LTR set.

All passengers are required to have a positive identification before boarding flights. This could be extended to e-daters as well. Friend guards the bar or restaurant door, color glossy of date’s online-profile photo in hand. “Nope! Sorry. Your profile says tall, slim gentleman, 6’1”. Why am I, 5’8” in 2” heels, looking down at you? Negative identification, sir, federal dating requirements prohibit us from allowing you to continue with this date.”

“Ma’am, it says here you should be five-foot-two, eyes of blue with, er, other dimensions as well. Are those contacts? I’ll need an explanation if you wish to proceed with this date.”

Does checking in 24 hours in advance sound convenient? It is. Because traffic happens. Key for the double-bookers. You know, we might be onto a new profession here. If executive assistants are basically successful men’s professional wives (just without the sex — most of the time), maybe there’s a niche market for dating assistants — people who do all the screening, scheduling and entertaining when prior dates run long. If nothing else I see screenplay potential here ...
Got more tips of your own? What customer service message and/or policy would you like to see enforced on your next date?