Sexless in the City

Sometimes reading romance novels doesn’t quite prepare you for a love life...

For this 30-year-old urbanite, love is always a misadventure: The Harvard Lickwit, Hippie the Groper, the 5% Man, and the Ad Weasel. These and many other men wander in and out of her life — but never her bed.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Internet-dating experiment, Days 3-9

Days 1-2

After a few of the painful chats and email exchanges I’ve sat through in the last few days, I can’t decide which is worse: going through this in between doing work tasks and checking email, or sitting there, at a bar, watching as the guy tries to think of something to say.

I’d like to think that some of them (hopefully most) would do a bit better in person, but what exactly is one supposed to say in response to an email that reads, “I’d like to get to know you if your interested” — this from a guy who hasn’t filled in a single short-answer question on his profile?

Then there was the guy who barely communicates in either his profile or our chat session, yet after just a few minutes of scintillating dialogue about the snowy weather he’d like to escape for California’s warmth wants to know if he can send me a Christmas card.

I promise, I could get far more sarcastic about the other tidbits he tossed out, apparently in a bid to establish his sterling, trustworthy character … but I’m trying, dear reader, I’m trying. (To be nice and receptive, that is — not just shoot guys down for working security, offering cheesy compliments, or asking questions about my “experience” within the first few minutes of chat.) Suffice to say, it’s a less-than-thrilling adventure so far, my foray back into the wooly world of Web dating.

At least with the one guy who seemed most promising so far, he had a sufficiently interesting email address that I could start spinning stories about what his job must be on my walk to BART from work that night. But then, of course, since he has yet to answer my first missive to said account, I haven’t had any chance to confirm or dispel my theories about what he does. I probably sent my email too soon after he had provided his address.

With successes like this, it’s probably little wonder that I found myself signing up on another site this weekend, one I’d learned of during a lively lunch chat about my new romance/research endeavor. The female half of a married couple from church had mentioned that she knows the guy who runs the OKCupid site. Apparently he has recently launched a new, free venture in just a handful of cities, called Crazy Blind Date.

Since I was hoping to check out an Adam Levy show Sunday night and didn’t want to go alone, I decided get a little … well … “crazy.” Based on my registration experience, I give them props for the interface, though not the ease of changing from a double to single date. The optional profile questions you answer later also touched on some interesting issues, but frankly some of them got more deeply into personal hygiene and moral positions than I care for strangers to know when they’re deciding to take a chance on schedule and geographic alignment.

At any rate, I didn’t wind up with a date, either crazy or blind. Whether I was too restrictive in seeking a Christian blind date to trek out to the Tenderloin (SF natives will doubtless start laughing hysterically here) or they don’t have enough people registered yet, it’s hard to say. Next time I think I’ll try them when I have a free night I’m looking to fill, instead of a set event I want to attend.

If you’re in Austin, Boston, New York or SF you can give ’em a spin yourself. Since the site is still in the beta phase, all services are free. And that’s this week e-dating report! I probably won’t blog much next week with the holidays, but after New Year’s I plan to take another site’s trial run. Look for comparative reporting in a week or so.