Sexless in the City


Sometimes reading romance novels doesn’t quite prepare you for a love life...

For this 30-year-old urbanite, love is always a misadventure: The Harvard Lickwit, Hippie the Groper, the 5% Man, and the Ad Weasel. These and many other men wander in and out of her life — but never her bed.

Monday, September 15, 2008

New York event, Sept. 28

As usual, I’m long overdue for an update, but I do have a post or two on tap. Hopefully I’ll find time somewhere during my crazy few days between travels (last week, Nashville, next week New York) to post it.

Meanwhile, those of you in New York will finally have a chance to see me, buy a book or get your copy signed when I’m there in town later this month! I’ll be squaring off with a former New York Press sex columnist over the question “Is modern sex good or evil?” so it should be a lively time.

Debate @ Lolita
Sunday, Sept. 28, 8 p.m.
266 Broome St., Lower Level
FREE

I will have a limited number of books on hand, but you can help me pre-order accurately by noting in the comments below if you’re planning to come and how many books, if any, I should order for you.


Whether or not you live in New York or will be able to make it, you can help make this event a success by spreading the word through Facebook, MySpace, your blog, etc. And don’t forget that you can still, for a limited time, order signed copies of the book directly from me.

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Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Things that make me miss New York

What’s that, you say? This blog’s been so quiet, you worried that I had gotten injured or married?

Nothing like that exactly has happened, but somehow since the book came out, it’s been harder to keep scribbling posts about the spinster life, much less with the candor I used to have. And there have also been various projects, family things ... yadda, yadda, yadda.

Now and then, though, I do manage to squeeze some reading in, though it’s long since eclipsed my knitting as the ultimate leisure activity. One of my occasional reads, thanks to a peculiar email subscription that suddenly started more than two years after my year of getting the New York Observer for free in the mail ended is said paper’s online version.

It’s not as common as the city tabloids, but neither is it as literary and self-important as the Times. And sometimes, the faintly gossipy tone they take with almost all subjects lends itself to nostalgia-inspiring stories of New York quirks, such as these two from a recent issue:

And speaking of the subway, I was utterly delighted with this creative illustration of two New York tots’ ardent passion for all things transit. Did I mention how delightful it was?

Finally, if you haven’t yet picked up the book, it’s now on sale at Amazon (if you want your copy brand-new) or deeply discounted as a used copy. And if you have got the book, don’t forget I’ll send signed bookplates (until they run out) to you and a friend if you want to give it as a gift. Just email me for further details.

Have a happy, safe holiday! And if you’re going to enjoy the fireworks, be EyeSmart.

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Sunday, April 29, 2007

Anna’s New York

Updated July 24, 2008

First off: some good news. It’s been a long time coming, but though my cough still prompts my boss to say it sounds like I’m in a ward for tuberculosis patients, final edits on the book were submitted one day before my taxes were. (Yes, it was a rather Proustian feat in the end, for those of you familiar with the circumstances under which In Search of Lost Time was written, but I’m trusting the fever didn’t interfere too much.)

As I slowly recover from both the writing and my bronchitis-that-was-possibly-pneumonia, I hope to finally resume a more-consistent blogging schedule. Due to some discussions that have bearing on what Sexless 2.0 may look like, I’m not quite ready to roll out the new version yet, but in the meantime I’ll probably post a few incidental things. This week’s topic (as prompted by a reader request for New York recommendations), a few of my favorite things in that city.

Top picks for espresso
  1. Cafe Regular, Park Slope, Brooklyn (SW corner of 5th Ave. & 11th St.)
  2. Red Horse Cafe, Park Slope, Brooklyn (NE corner of 6th Ave. & 12th St.)
  3. Hungarian Pastry Shop, Manhattan (west side of Amsterdam, north of 110th St.). So maybe the coffee isn’t quite as spectacular here (I don’t exactly remember), but the ambiance and pastries are top-notch. As a bonus, it’s also right by St. John the Divine.
All things French
In general, the west side of 9th Avenue in Manhattan from 22nd Street down to 14th Street or so (right around whatever Episcopal center it is that has such a lovely garden) has several excellent pastry shops and cafes, as I recall. Best crepes: Le Gamin.

Great walks
  1. Brooklyn Bridge, ideally at night.
  2. As much of Broadway as your feet can stand. Walk further than 10-15 blocks, and you’ll get nice sense of several neighborhoods and how rapidly the city can change.
  3. 22nd Street west from roughly 6th to 10th Avenues is a lovely, quiet stroll through historic Chelsea’s charming brownstones. Especially gorgeous in spring and summer and well worth going out of your way if you’re tempted to take 23rd Street instead (to and from the Subway, for instance).
  4. 6th Avenue in Park Slope, Brooklyn. I used to pace this lovely residential street a good mile up and down almost every night in the heat of writing; there was one month in mid-spring (not long before it started to get so awfully muggy) when the perfume of the trees in bloom was divine. Pretty much from 15th Street north, you’re guaranteed a very fine stroll, and maybe a few good stoop sales besides (depending on the time of day). I’ve also known it to yield some decent furniture.
Favorite yarn stores
  1. P&S Fabric Company, Manhattan (west side of Broadway a few blocks south of Canal; to your right as you walk downtown). It’s not the place for exotic stuff, but this shop has a decent selection of reasonably priced yarns and is a great, cramped source for inexpensive Lion brand basics, needles, hooks and plenty of other wares, including a fabric section I never really explored. The business is Jewish-owned, though, so be prepared for funky weekend hours.
  2. Knit New York, Manhattan (NE corner of 14th St. & 2nd Ave.). The yarn’s a little bit pricey, and I was snapped at once for jotting notes on the brands they had, but there’s also a nice cafe where you can work, trade tips with other knitters, or simply get your joe for the day. I hear they also have quite a lot of classes, even for men.
  3. Brooklyn General (west Cobble Hill, past the freeway). Great little shop with very cool proprieters, several classes and an interesting selection of vintage buttons (not to mention, of course, the yarn).
Brunch standards
  1. Bubby’s in Tribeca. Expect a wait on weekends, but it’s always a nice place to pop in for that New York weekend ritual shared by secular and religious types alike.
  2. 2nd St. Cafe, Park Slope, Brooklyn (SE corner of 7th Ave. & 2nd St.) Also crowded on the weekends, but they have a mix of indoor and outdoor seating, both appointed with paper tablecloths that get pasted on the ceilings and walls if you leave interesting art behind. What better weekend therapy could you ask for?
  3. Dos Caminos, Manhattan (east side of Park Ave., just north 0f 26th St.). As I recall, the weekend brunch is roughly $15, including a cocktail and maybe even coffee. (Also great for dinner, if you’re willing to pay a bit more. I always loved the guac, chopped salad and flaming cosmo or whatever spicy cocktail they have that was so good. And tequila lovers rejoice: there’s quite a selection.)
  4. Coffee Shop, Manhattan (west side of Union Square). Perhaps the first place I brunched in the city, and still a decent spot for mid-priced diner food with a Brazilian flare, if you don’t the often-flighty waitstaff (clearly hired more for their aspirations to modeling and rather bohemian style).
The secret to a great dinner
  1. Freeman’s Alley, Manhattan (somewhere between SoHo and the Lower East Side; just google it for directions; it’s very close to Lorelei, the German bar). I never actually paid for the dinners I ate there, but this place is super-cool and always had an excellent menu. Kind of a hipster hunting lodge vibe, if you can get your mind around that.
  2. Dos Caminos, Manhattan (see above).
  3. Beet, Park Slope, Brooklyn (west side of 7th Ave., just south of the 7th Ave. F-train stop). Very tasty, inexpensive Thai in a very stylish setting.
  4. Magnolia, Park Slope, Brooklyn (NW corner of 6th Ave. & 12 St.). Has a small bar along one end and decent beer/food specials Monday nights, but also serves as an excellent, intimate restaurant with a very prix fixe menu (usually just over $20).
  5. Grimaldi’s, base of the Brooklyn Bridge on the Brooklyn side. Local-favorite pizza place that always has a line out the door (even for those getting take-out), but offer great eats on a few steps from an even better view. Nice for a casual date, or chilling out on a mellow Saturday night.
When drink is the thing
  1. Rodeo Bar, Manhattan (NE corner of 26th St. & 3rd Ave.). Great Texas-style honkey-tonk with one bar set up in a trailer, and an excellent list of shows coming through every night of the week, always offered with no cover. Where I spent the twilight hours of the ’03 black-out. Favorite app: the Cowboy Kisses (don’t ask, just order, unless you can’t stand hot food).
  2. Cafe Steinhof, Park Slope, Brooklyn (NW corner of 14th St. & 7th Ave.). A very fun little Austrian bar that has $5 goulash, $6 fish on Monday nights, and often has a series of vintage films one night of the week (usually Sunday, if I remember right). One month it was a number of Sidney Poitiers, on other occasions, they’ve had Sound of Music sing-a-longs — yes, really. Very cool ambiance, and sometimes some excellent live music acts as well.
  3. The Campbell Apartment, Manhattan (inside Grand Central Station, toward the SW corner). Vintage cocktails and music in a slightly more chi-chi setting than some of the pubs and bars in the area. I can’t remember the history of the room, but I think it used to be someone’s penthouse or their library.
Bars to tickle your ears
Looking for some live music to chase that beer of yours? These settings were a few of my favorite.
  1. Arthur’s, Manhattan (on Grove St., just off 7th Ave.). One of my first discoveries in the city, and always guaranteed to have a rockin’ band on the stage (bluesy soul with some jazz and rock thrown in). It’s usually pretty packed on the weekends, but we could always shoulder our way in somewhere. If you do land a table, be prepared for the 1 drink/person/set minimum.
  2. Rodeo Bar, Manhatta (see above).
  3. New Living Room, Manhattan (east side of Ludlow, a few blocks south of Houston; check the website, since you’ll want to know what bands are playing anyway). The one-time home of Norah Jones, but still a place where you can hear a few friends of hers, as well as other solid acts like Julia Darling.
  4. Detour, Manhattan (NE corner 13th St. & 2nd Ave.). Inexpensive jazz bar in the East Village. Cover is rarely more than $5-10 as I recall, and most acts I heard the few times I went there always put on a good show.
Other shopping and such destinations
  1. The Strand, Manhattan (east side of Broadway, just south of 14th St.). Famous bookstore I came to love for the ease of selling books I’d found on the street in my neighborhood, and their excellent selection of picture-book day planners after the new year.
  2. New York Public Library, Manhattan (SW corner of 42nd St. & 5th Ave.). Even if you’re not much for books, the outside architecture is legendary (allegedly the lions roar when a virgin walks past), and it’s right on the edge of one of my favorite lawns in the city: Bryant Square Park. Especially nice in the spring and late summer afternoons.
  3. Brooklyn Bridge — a great walk at night, and my favorite of the city’s more touristy landmarks (probably because it’s equally used by locals).
  4. B&H Photo & Video, Manhattan (SE corner of 9th Ave. & 34th St.). Even if you already know this place for their very affordable prices on electronics, film and photography paper, there’s nothing quite like the interior of this Orthodox Jewish-owned business. Surely there’s some small gadget or battery you can buy, just to find your way along their version of the yellow brick road ... Just don’t forget the funky weekend hours.
Well, I think I’m almost getting nostalgic now. Good thing I’ve got another quick weekend trip there next month!

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Friday, March 24, 2006

Wasting time in haste

Well, dahlings, no new reader questions this week, so it’s grocery shopping with Anna! Not that I planned on this errand any time soon; yesterday my bank balance was at $38 — all I had to get by on the rest of the month. Which seemed like pretty tight going until a timely check from Sis yesterday. Whew! Thanks to my new influx of cash, I could afford to head back to Trader Joe’s to restock my pantry. Well, that and splurge on a latte from that coffee shop I once used to frequent more often.

By the time I reach Manhattan, it’s after 5. But I’m a writer who can work till 4 a.m., if need be, so who really cares? I’m strolling along 14th Street, all stoked to buy a new bag of those wonderful unsulphured apricots, pass Trader Joe’s new wine store (which still isn’t open), get about 20 feet from the door ... and realize there are a lot of people on the sidewalk. In what appears to be a line. Oh my God, I think, It’s 5:30 on a weeknight, and I’m going grocery shopping. At the new Trader Joe’s.

Yup, sure enough: a line to get in the store. Several folks in line were shaking their heads and complaining about it, as if — like honking — this could make things move or otherwise reduce the shame of, gasp, waiting. The line wasn’t that bad, and overseen by workers so cheerful they must all have been flown to California for TJ’s crash course in West Coast laid-backness. Sadly all this was lost to onlookers. People walking by were exclaiming in loud horror, as if we’d all volunteered to bear children for Osama bin Laden or something (well, maybe that’s not quite the right metaphor, but still, they were appalled): “Standing in line for a grocery store?!!”

East Coasters don’t really get it. As one woman at the coffee shop put it, “I’ve heard their cheese section isn’t all that” — so why the fuss? I guess it’s partly a regional thing — like the sort of mellow coffee shops one rarely finds east of the Rockies, if not Nevada. I’ll confess: when friends in Arizona first raved about TJs, long before I’d had their apricots, I didn’t get it either. And some of the foods I tried from there were frankly not that great (the waffles I ate this morning: C+ at best — but when they’re $.24 apiece, and your budget looks like mine, who really cares?) At bottom, I think it’s the combination of often-decent quality and fairly reasonable prices. Pellegrino costs $1.19/bottle, a bag of flattened banana slices is only $.99.

Well ... cost-for-quality and the lovely way that, when the sun shines right and I’m deep inside the store, I can almost forget I’m in Manhattan instead of Seattle or El Cerrito or Emeryville. Last night I drank a whole liter of their $1.79 lemon Italian soda at the sheer happiness. Because something about the sunshine or the daylight or the lack of a winter chill out West induces a blissful laziness. Or if not that, an ease at least. Sure, West Coast peeps can be uptight about some things, but it’s not the same as here.

Here, folks want to get where they’re going as soon as possible, and the next train couldn’t possibly suffice, so I’m going to jam my arm in and hold the train the extra 15 seconds for me to board (I confess, I’ve been guilty of this too). But worse than that, I’ve seen people sacrifice all the well-being a calmer and lovelier walk to the train (only 2-5 minutes longer) might afford for the sake of rushing along through crowds of sidewalk smokers and car exhaust and honking just because it’s the “fastest” way to the train. As Fiona sings in my new favorite song:
If you don’t have a date
Celebrate
Go out and sit on the lawn
And do nothing
’Cause it’s just what you must do
Nobody does it anymore

No I don’t believe in the wasting of time,
But I don’t believe that I’m wasting mine
At the end of my leisurely sojourn at Trader Joe’s, I wandered out to the growing dusk, past the even-longer line outside. At least some people don’t mind that wait! Perhaps the man with the rasta cap jingling change in a plastic cup should have worked his way closer to the grocer than the subway. I passed him, then remembered I had bananas in my bag. They were fairly green, but he took the ripest one and told me happily that it would be good to eat in a day. Not like the plantains from his homeland, but still ...

I knew how that was. A Trader Joe’s in Manhattan isn’t quite like the stores of home, but the $4 subway round-trip is cheap compared to the cost of a flight to Cali. Then again, if I move out west, I’ll have to drive my groceries home myself, with no train driver to take me over the Manhattan Bridge past the twilight glimmer of lights in downtown New York. Gratitude, methinks, is 90 percent of contentment with one’s present — single or otherwise. Well, gratitude and resourcefulness. ;)

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