Sexless in the City


Sometimes reading romance novels doesn’t quite prepare you for a love life...

For this 30-year-old urbanite, love is always a misadventure: The Harvard Lickwit, Hippie the Groper, the 5% Man, and the Ad Weasel. These and many other men wander in and out of her life — but never her bed.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Mid-week reading trifecta

For those either curious or desperately bored on this Wednesday, there were a few new articles on the book this weekend, with especially nice turns by The Oklahoman and the
Tampa Tribune.

And for something a bit more original, check out my new post on the Radiant blog “The Pulse”: a look at Baby Mama, Iron Man, movie sex scenes and what I call “the lost art of implication.”

Happy Wednesday!

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Friday, May 16, 2008

New Radiant post: ‘The Vicarious Pleasures of Courage’

I’m off to San Diego this weekend, so don’t know if I’ll have time for a full post here, but my latest piece for Radiant’s blog “The Pulse” is now up, this one musing on Eat, Pray, Love. What do cobras have to do with eating pizza and accidentally drowning lizards in your coffee? Read the post and find out.

Also, don’t forget that for a few days more, you can still take 15% off one item at BarnesandNoble.com -- a great way to save even more when you buy Sexless. And until I run out of bookplates, I’ll send a signed pair to every reader who wants to share the book with a friend.

Happy weekend! Hope it’s not as hot where you are as it is here!

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Sunday, April 27, 2008

New Radiant post: ‘I See, I See, I See, Thus I Believe’

It turns out I can’t simul-post what I write for The Pulse, but if you’re curious how what I learned from the movies about wearing shoes relates to John Cusack, my recent TV segment on parental sex talks and a college class on courtship and marriage, read on. Post theme: how exactly do we learn what sex looks like? Comments always welcome, either here or there.

I hope, by the way, that The Pulse won’t be the only context for the sort of essays I launched this blog with, but I’m certainly in a transition at present. Having a charter to write what I think about “art, film, literature and music” (as has been given me with this chance to write for The Pulse) feels vastly more inspiring, lately, than coming back with some variation on the same old “still sexless” posts I've been doing for ... um ... about four years — especially since all this book craziness leaves little time to even check my eHarmony account, much less squeeze in a date. That said, I do have a couple ideas I hope to find time to write in the next week or so. Which reminds me ...

A writing assignment for readers
Whether you bought your copy of Sexless at a neighborhood store or from an online vendor like BN.com or Amazon, don’t forget that you can support the book by writing a brief review at one of the aforementioned websites [insert big, persuasive, toothy grin here]. Thanks!!

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Sunday, April 13, 2008

New Radiant post: ‘Readings, Writing and a Wedding Parallel’

Still haven’t gotten word whether I can simul-post entries or not, so if you want to hear my take on a recent Mary Roach reading (complete with signs for certain sex-ed-class words and anatomical cakes), have a read. Besides, you wouldn’t think any of that would have some connection to a 17th-century poem and a recent chick-flick with that Knocked Up star, now would you? But it does ...

And don’t forget, you have until Tuesday to enter to win one of five signed copies of Sexless in the City! New details added on how you can do so even without a blog.

Lastly, after a shamefully long wait to follow through, I finally picked the winners of the chocolate-chip cookie prize for those who responded to my reader poll ... um, almost two years back. The winners are readers Elaina and Tiye (email me if you didn’t get your congratulatory email with details on how to claim your prize). And since said winner selection required the development of a highly scientific process involving Singaporean post-it notes, I am happy to report there should be no such delays in picking the winner of this contest (besides which, it’s far easier to sign books than bake a batch of cookies from scratch).

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Monday, April 07, 2008

The food of champions

The life of a writer is far from gastronomically glamorous. Saturday night, I got caught up creating the playlist for the book and had to improvise a super-late dinner out of Trader Joe’s mac-n-cheese (thank goodness I’d thought to buy some for “emergencies” like this!) and a bag of broccoli florets I meant to eat during the work-week but never got around to fixing.

Never got around to would be the theme here, if you’re looking for one; too often I never get around to taking a lunch, eating at a proper time, or just eating properly period, as this morning’s sick-day breakfast would attest: the last 5 or 6 pieces of Aplets and Cotlets left over from my Seattle trip. America’s answer to Turkish delights: most certainly the breakfast of champions.

Not that it’s always been this bad, mind you. The irony is that when I could least afford to eat well, I probably nonetheless ate a great deal better than I often do these days. Back in the day, when I was still on my $50-a-week-or-less budget for food and transit, I got by on such slim means with a mostly vegetarian diet, careful meal planning and disciplined weekly grocery trips to the aforementioned TJ’s. Ah, the Sunday night jaunt down to Union Square for a quick shop after church ... It was usually fairly quiet then: nothing close to the literally out-the-door, down-the-sidewalk lines when the store first opened its Manhattan doors.

But more importantly, because of all that planning, my fridge was usually more practically stocked, if less amply so (you can’t really afford to stock a pantry on such an income). Something about the routine of making a daily lunch at home lent itself to remembering little details like the sprouts and avocado slices that transform a simple tuna fish sandwich into a tasty midday meal. Sometimes I even had enough money for a $2-3 potato chip bag that made for a little side crunch for each sandwich that week.

Nowadays, lunch is typically eaten at work, in haste, at all the wrong hours and with almost none of that gracious if inexpensive sense of order and completeness I once enjoyed. Mostly I just nibble random bits of pistachio meats, dried apricots, the occasional chocolate almond cluster, a package or two of string cheese and maybe a serving of yogurt. The only thing that keeps me from having to eat Starbucks breakfast sandwiches every day is that there’s thankfully yet another Trader Joe’s (that would be another theme, clearly) just 8 or so minutes’ walk from my office in North Beach.

All in all, it’s a funny trade-off. On desperate days, I can now afford to walk to the Thai restaurant down the street for a quick meal, without any of the careful budget calculations that once governed whether I could splurge on a $3 latte during a coffee-shop work session, or had to stick with a $1 cup of coffee to justify sitting there and using the free WiFi. I can also occasionally try the pricey special coffee beans Peet’s sometimes roasts in only a handful of batches (though, honestly, I have yet to find a better bean than the $8 bag of organic, fair-trade Peruvian coffee they sell at the Natural Grocery down the street).

None of that expanded purchasing power enables me to brew the lattes that used to be a favorite morning ritual, though; nowadays I usually get up as close to the time my carpool arrives as I can, not always brewing coffee before I leave. All in all, I think I sometimes miss the old days, scrimping or no.


If you’ve been missing the old days of “proper” blogging like I used to do, take heart: I’m now a contributing blogger for Radiant’s blog The Pulse (an art, lit and music blog). Until I confirm if I can simul-post entries or not, I’ll post links here each time there’s a new entry up there. The first one was Friday’s, “Soundtracks to Books, Life and Other Things.”

Don’t forget you can still get a pre-order discount on the book for one more week! Get yours from Amazon or Barnes & Noble.

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